Yesterday I was at a birthday party in a Mexican restaurant. We were 25, seated on a long table which brought together Fiji, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, India, Korea, East and West of the United States.
We were Muslims, Jewish, Christians, Hindus, Buddhist, and Atheists. Meetings like this should not happen, especially when conversation drifts from food to lefties. Left-handed people that is.
As the food arrived, tantalizing our nostrils with its magical fingers, bringing our basic human instinct to the open, we pulled the forks and knives and started noticing the lefties.
Amazingly, lefties turned out to be satins, devils and witches all over the world. They were people who had to be taught to eat with their right hand, and write with their right hand, because the left hand is bad. It is the dirty hand. It is the hand of the devil.
The Hindu/Fiji girl was very hungry. She stuck a fork in the meat with her left hand. “Sorry devil,” she said, “I know you have pride issues and all-but I don’t believe in you.” She started chewing.
“Yeah,” the Jewish/East American girl agreed while eyeing her plate. “We’ve got too many lefties in my family we wouldn’t know which one is a devil.”
“Dude,” said the Catholic Philipino, “we’ve got soaps and anti-bacterial stuff in our handbags now a days.”
“Yeah,” said Fiji. “Trust me, we've got tissue papers to wipe our ass. And even if we needed the hand, its clean already.”
The food was good. The angels were high. The devil was dripping down the drain.
Clicking and clucking, we stuffed our mouths, realizing how tables like ours should not exist. They are too threatening to grandmas & grandpas; to all the bedtime stories which were ours alone…