Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Attacked by Cats

I had a cat nightmare, again! Fifth time in less than a year that I dream the same thing. I am in my family’s house in Riyadh, trying to shut the kitchen door, the ladies’ entrance, and the main entrance before the cats get in. (Cats were an issue at my family’s house, since my brothers were generous, and the neighborhood swamped by hungry cats.)

I am working hard, gasping for air, but the cats slip in. With the doors closed, I’m left to fight the cats indoors. They are small, and large. They are fierce mothers, scared kittens, and wild, square-faced males. Just when I raise a stick, thinking that I am driving them away, they close up on me. Jumping in my face, scratching, biting, and meowing with the eyes of creatures inhibited by dark spirits.
People interpret dreams differently. Some rely on outer sources for understanding a dream, or simply brush them away relating them to stress or coincidence. I can neither rely on outer sources for interpretation, nor take dreams lightly. Just the same way I can't take paink killers or spray air fresheners, knowing that pain and smell are there for a reason. They are an indication. A message.

Dreams as I seem them are unresolved issues in the united state of: mind, body, spirit, emotions. Things that need to be sorted out in a round table, without one side having more of a say than the other. This very fair distribution of powers is a reason why dreams allow us to see and connect with things happening to people beyond our immediate reach.

Why am I being attacked by cats? Is it because the last time I’ve been to my family’s house, they were on holidays, and a kitten was dead in the front yard, and three locked up in the house? Was it because the house which held so many warm and comforting memories was empty, dusty, and dark? It makes sense that I would still be uncomfortable with that image, because it was horrifying. I got a panic attack that day, grew aggressive with people around me, and could not spill a cry out of my chest.

But what do we do with scarry memories? Do they ever go away on their own, or do we have to work on erasing them? Does intentional erasing work exactly on the picture we wish to forget, or does it do a dangerous job of diluting our overall recollection of the past?


Hning said...

What are you going through?

I love the way my nightmares work like an emotional-alarm. I have this dream that has been reoccuring everytime I'm under too much stress.
(It's too embarassing to explain how the dream goes, so maybe some other time I'll tell you the details to my reoccuring nightmares)

When things are good, it never happens. When I'm working and running and hollering at people to get things done, No Dreams.

When things are bad, it could happen every forthnight. When I lose control over crucial things, when I can't workout my worries, or having to move to new places, all over again, these nightmares are ruthless!

Funny thing is that, recently, there was a time when my nightmare didn't end the way it used to be. It actually had a happy ending. Maybe my mind forced it to have a happy ending. But when I really thought about it, and having you bluntly telling it to my face in my blog, maybe my ability to control the variables in my life have improved.

Thus becometh my fortified sense of independence.

My penny of thoughts.

Aysha said...

Hning, it is interesting that while you list the things that cause yo to "dream", you're almost repeating the things that cause you to "write"! Maybe it is all about getting the imagination fired up.
I am excited to hear about the dream and tha new version of it!
Hope I cick the cats out soon ;)

Андрей Панков said...

I Russian tradition of the dreams interpretation, the cat means troubles. If you was able to kill a cat or kick it away, you'll win your troubles. If a cat meowing, it means your friend is your hidden enemy and prepares a trap for you. If the cat scratches you and you can see your blood, it means possible financial loss. If the cat is dirty and slim, you will receive a bad piece of news from a person you love.
In other cultures, it may be another archetype related with cats, but Russians recommend to be strong and fight cats in you dreams and troubles in your life. Stand steady and be brave, you'll win!

Aysha said...

That's very interesting--and makes sense to some extent. Thank you!