Sunday, December 23, 2007

Las Vegas, boyboy

Last week, I was at Las Vegas, and got a free ticket for Jubilee’s show at Bally’s. Too bad I didn’t do my research and thus attended the very kind of show that would boil my blood: 80+ girls who are topless and with string bottoms, while 10+ guys are fully clothed.

As hundreds of dark nipples stared at me from the sparkly stage I asked myself if it were a dream or reality that while the lights were on, the audience were mainly couples. There were so many guy girl couples that when the cameraman asked me if I wanted a picture he acted surprised to see me solo.

When the 10+ guys on stage started singing about girls, and how beautiful it is to have hundreds of girls I wondered if anybody had me, the female audience, in mind. I thought of Sopranos as well, where the striptease and gay women scenes would be lengthy, yet when a gay guys scene came on, the camera only caught them hugging. Why of course, who cares to show naked guys to the women audience if it would mean offending the guys?

Why are there no nude guys on Jubilee’s?

For half an hour, I tried to see something. A sign. A hint that tells me that I am cared for as a female audience. I tried to convince myself that all the designer fabrics that keep flying and the sparkly crystals and lights can transform a low class body display to a “classical” show which has been on –as I later learned- since 1981.

When it finally felt like a shoe was shoved down my throat, I could not take it any longer. If no American woman amongst the audience had any dignity or respect for her rights, I have.

Intentionally and slowly I walked across the isle, wondering which is a better case scenario:

1- To dictate women’s right and intentionally violate them?
2- To have women’s rights under development, while men and women’s rights are equally violated?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Are Humans an Experiment?

Amongst Muslims, it is a given that Islam is the religion which concludes and overwrites all others. It is the answer; universal, and timeless. All religions before it were time and people specific, but Islam comes as a religion finale.

Yet if it is also a given that when God created the world everything had already been decided and realized, why wasn’t Islam the first? Why didn’t the answer arrive any earlier? And why are we now left with multiple faiths quarreling together on the very same earth?

Could it be possible that when humans first arrived on earth, things were not “fully realized”? Were humans an experiment, a very sophisticated one, left to unveil its possibilities under the watchful eye of God? And could that be the answer as to why creations have stopped after humans?

Was the progression of religions (as ethical guidelines) a parallel to the conclusions drawn from constant analysis and observation of the humans? Had the series of religions been a progression in regards to understanding and communicating with humans, almost as if adding to a list of “frequently asked questions-FAQ”?

Are humans but an experiment, assessed by religions for the sake of successfully achieving their purpose? And do they fall in line after several animalistic experiments? Did Islam come as a conclusion of the human experiment, simply setting them aside as a new project takes place?

Is another, more sophisticated experiment, soon to be introduced to earth or one of the many planets? And are we soon to watch with horror as our superiors take place?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

The Bed Question

Why is it in bed that I question tomorrow?

Tonight, I caught myself doing it for the hundredth time. Wondering what I should become in the future, as if the decision had to be dropped in the mail tomorrow. Always the same questions, always the same doubts and nothing changes pretty much except an occasional loss of sleep.

Tonight my aunt’s voice hung over my head. In her mid thirties she confessed to me that she is utterly depressed. “I am nobody!” she said. “My friends have stuck to a certain ladder and climbed it. They have become something. Names. Titles. Professions. While I don’t even receive a salary.”

She loves life. Got hung up on the candy-store version of it, and never managed to let go. You name it, she’s done it: volunteer, art, science, religion, children work, adult training-but it never made sense to eat out of one bowl.

I never thought the day would come when I look in the mirror and foresee such a disaster in my own eyes. The disaster of loving life too much to settle for one thing.


Somehow, my mom managed to do both: multiple projects at once and a profession; an increasing salary. At one point in the past, I swore to her that I wouldn’t do the same. “I am not like you,” I said. “I can only focus on one area, and acquire deep knowledge of it. Doing many things at once would make me a mediocre, and I can’t be that.”

Statements are easy when you’re 17. Even 20.

Yet now, at age of 25, and particularly at 3 in the morning, it is extremely difficult to decide what I shall be in the future: A banker, professor, reporter, screenwriter, producer, trainer, secretary, or diplomat?
It is even more difficult to pick a side: become a blinkered professional, or an amateur lover of life…

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Google: The Santa of Asia

My favorite thing to do is checking blogger stats/referrals. How many people passed by today? Where from? How did they get here? And how long did they stay?

There’s an interesting life beneath the surface, and that is the fascination of stats. Making belief you are a god. Silently eyeing people whom come in and out of your land, and secretly smiling upon the ones who form a pattern of being there.

My favorite is a “Santa Clara” person, who does not miss a day of typing my full name correctly in Google. Well, for a while it was “Ayesha”, and eventually the “e” got kicked out. How flattering! Despite all the shortcuts, that person chooses to type my name in full. Had it not been my name, I wouldn't have even bothered.

Then, comes the amusing search titles. People form India, Australia, Pakistan, and Philippines tend to have the longest search titles. Their Googling is too appropriate that it practically is a letter to Santa. “Dear Google, I want to see pretty women in the shower and preferably intelligent and naked.”

I am not making the “preferably” part up!

Often, when I read those search referrals. The weird ones, the funny ones, and the ones which are totally disgusting, I wonder:

Is life on Blogger any different from life on earth? We exist, communicate in a certain language, engage in major issues, scribble minor issues, chose certain colors, and keep certain people on our list and boom! One day we find ourselves stuck with people we extremely dislike, a crowd we barely have anything in common with, and the oddest of coincidences.


But is coincidence ever a coincidence? And are the people/crowds/life we gravitate ever disconnected from radiation that we have sent off in the first place?