Saturday, September 8, 2007

Sometimes: Life is too still.

Is life a series of still pictures; or is that the method with which our mind captures life?

When the wind is high, and the rain is falling, I feel more alive, as if the wind and rain are moving the pictures, and smudging the memories so they are not still. Even when the sun is up, life is dynamic as long as there’s something moving: people or animals! This movement of theirs becomes the wind through which particles of the past become alive.

Yet, when nothing is moving –not even me- besides the attempt of remembrance I realize with horror how still the past is. Rolling through it is almost like running a wheel with such a speed that I hope can fool me into seeing a smooth film on screen. A film that would not betray the missing pictures, or their inconsistency.

When life is still, too still, it is hard to see the memories, let alone make them.

4 comments:

Abu Daoud said...

TS Eliot writes in Easter Coker, as he reflects on the tension between movement and stillness, the past and the present:

In my beginning is my end. In succession
Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended,
Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place
Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass.
Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires,
Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth
Which is already flesh, fur and faeces,
Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf.
Houses live and die: there is a time for building
And a time for living and for generation
And a time for the wind to break the loosened pane
And to shake the wainscot where the field-mouse trots
And to shake the tattered arras woven with a silent motto.

***

I am still willing to send you that book if you want it, even there in KSA :-) Just let me know: winterlightning a+ safe-mail d0+ net

Accord said...

Aysha,
I like your way in questioning.
I used to view the world as an endlessly long series of still moments or pictures, with time being like a soul that jumps from one picture to the next making one picture at a time alive. That picture is the picture everybody is seeing and feeling at the moment. However, whenever we look back at our past we can't see anything but seperate still pictures, because the motion is with us right now.

Cheers.

insomniac said...

Sometimes it's easier to see life as one rolling movie, cause the "now" seems to be always horrible. Now you don't want to take a snapshot of that.

Aysha said...

abu daoud,
thank you for your on going offer. It makes me happy every single time. On my last year of English major, in Saudi Arabia, we took some of Eliot's poems. Unfortunatly, however, there was much restriction on the liberty of analyzing them and discussing them :(

Accord,
And I LOVE your philosophy, it is thoroughly felt and thought about. I just love it!

insomniac,
That is very true.